Jim Bacarro Shares About The Rough Road To Fatherhood

Filipino indie rock band Cheats’ Jim Bacarro and Saab Magalona are on the roll into being parents to their son, Pancho. They have just been blessed by angels without wings; twins– that made their life complete, but the road seemed to be bumpier than expected.

The musician couple went through a rough path in February when they lost their baby daughter, Luna, one half of the set of the twins.

Last March, Saab wrote about the loss, in her blog spellsaab.com in a post entitled “Heartbroken but Hopeful”, opening to the public how it was the hardest thing she ever had to write.

spellsaab.com/heartbroken-but-hopeful/

A post shared by Saab Magalona-Bacarro (@saabmagalona) on

Jim, on the other hand, had a fair share of his own pain, and now he had opened up about the experience through an Instagram post.

My path to fatherhood wasn’t the most conventional to say the least. We spent more than 2 months in the hospital. After losing our daughter Luna, I didn’t even have time to grieve. I would go between 2 ICUs to see Saab and Pancho. It was a series of tests and “today this is the problem, and we’re not sure what it is, and not sure what to do.” No answers and no proposed solutions. But somehow, each time I entered one of those rooms, Saab and Pancho would give me a burst of hope. I’d come in, Saab would be smiling, just happy to see me while Pancho would do little things to show he was fighting—a little kick, smirk or yawn would make my day. Nothing about this was normal. It was beyond our capacity as humans to deal with such a trial. For so long I wondered where God is in all of this: in tragedy, evil and suffering. I found him there—that somehow Saab and I could manage to kiss each other, smile at each other and comfort one another amidst this. I see him through Pancho. I found God in our parents, siblings and friends who embraced us, wept with us and prayed with us. I found God in kind doctors like Dr. Gap Legaspi who gave us hope. I saw God in all the hard working nurses that went beyond their duty and loved Saab and Pancho. I found God in forgiving those who may have caused this. I learned what it meant to be a father the moment I held my daughter, and had to let her go. It’s not your typical story of parenthood, but Saab and I are beyond convention and that’s our story.

A post shared by Jim Bacarro (@jimbacarro) on

“My path to fatherhood wasn’t the most conventional to say the least.” Jim writes, mentioning also how they have spent more than two months in the hospital. He was left with no time to grieve after the loss of their daughter as he had to go to between two ICUs to see Saab and Pancho.

He was faced with many challenging days, with “no answers and no solutions,” but being met with a smiling Saab and a strong Pancho gave him a ray of sunshine in the middle of the rain, a ‘burst of hope’.

“Nothing about this was normal. It was beyond our capacity as humans to deal with such a trial.” The musician wrote, saying how the tragedy and suffering made him wonder for long where God is in all of this.

Jim said he found God there– “I found him there—that somehow Saab and I could manage to kiss each other, smile at each other and comfort one another amidst this. I see him through Pancho.”

“I found God in our parents, siblings and friends who embraced us, wept with us and prayed with us.” He adds. He also mentioned that he saw God in the kind doctors and the hardworking nurses who “went beyond their duty and loved Saab and Pancho, and in “forgiving those who might have caused this.”

The experiences brought Jim to a learning, in which he says, “I learned what it meant to be a father the moment I held my daughter, and had to let her go.”

“It’s not your typical story of parenthood, but Saab and I are beyond convention and that’s our story.”

The couple have been married since 2015. It is beyond telling what might come in the future, but for now, it is best to focus on what is good, and hope for the best. Pancho is their first child together, and the two are surely in love with their angel, as well as baby Luna who’s now her baby brother’s own guardian angel.

“What a strange mirror this is”

A post shared by Saab Magalona-Bacarro (@saabmagalona) on

*pretends to listen*

A post shared by Panchito Burrito (@panchobacarro) on

Stay healthy and adorable, baby Pancho!

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